What Is Polyamory And Why Are People Doing It?

On Sunday during the opening ceremony of this season’s Big Brother Naija, we all met Hermes, one of the housemates. He admitted on the live stage that he is in a committed relationship with two women and they know each other. This got me thinking, and I concluded that Polyamory is gradually taking its root in the Nigerian dating culture. 

The twenty-first century has brought many new inventions, but one of the most unique is that of polyamory. While it may be uncommon, there are still people out there participating in this trend. It is a relationship style that is growing in popularity. Let’s explore exactly what it is so you can gain a better understanding of its existence.

What is Polyamory and Why are People Doing it?

Polyamory is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships at the same time. Polyamory is often confused with polygamy, which is a marriage between more than two people, but polyamory and polygamy can exist independently of each other. Some people identify as polyamorous, while others may consider themselves monogamous but still engage in non-monogamous sexual activities.

People who identify as polyamorous have different reasons for being polyamorous. Some people want to be able to love more than one person at once, while others might want to avoid being tied down by one partner. Many different types of relationships fall under the umbrella term “polyamory,” but all of them involve having multiple romantic partners.

Here are some of the most common reasons for choosing polyamory:


They have a strong need for intimacy but can’t seem to find one person who can meet all their needs (e.g., physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.).


They have tried monogamy in other relationships but always found themselves feeling lonely or unsatisfied with the lack of variety.


They are bisexual or pansexual and want to date someone who’s already in a relationship with someone else from their gender identity group (e.g., bisexual women dating bisexual men).


They are kinky but don’t want to limit themselves to only one partner.


They want to explore their sexuality and experiment with different partners


They are tired of having one partner who is always there for them, and they want to have more than one person in their life who can provide support when needed


They don’t believe in monogamy, so they don’t see anything wrong with having multiple partners at once


They want to feel loved and appreciated by different people, rather than just being with one person who doesn’t care about them as much as another person might.

Take Away 

Polyamory is on the rise and has been for at least a decade. But before you go asking your partner to try something new, we recommend you get clued up on what it is and why people do it. Not all poly relationships are created equal; don’t assume that because it worked for your next-door neighbor’s girlfriend, it will work for you. Before getting involved with non-monogamy however, it’s important to be aware of the benefits and the challenges. While opening up a relationship may result in more love than ever before, you could end up breaking someone’s heart or hurting those around you.

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