Virginity is not dependent on the Hymen.

by Ngozi AbiolaMay 18, 2022June 1, 202222

#womenshealthwednesday on virginty

Virginity can be a touchy subject, we asked our community how their partners reacted after they didn’t bleed the first time they had sex, as a way to spread awareness that ” Virginity is not dependent on the hymen “.

Here are some of the replies we got:

Please share your experiences in the comments.

What is virginity?

A virgin is someone who’s never had sex. In some cases, people who’ve had anal sex say they’re virgins because they’ve not had vaginal sex, while some say as long as one has been involved in any form of sexual act they are no longer virgins. “Virginity” is debatable but one this to note is Virginity is not dependent on the hymen.

Does having a hymen mean you’re a virgin?

Some people believe that you’re not a virgin if your hymen is stretched open. But having a hymen and being a virgin are not the same thing.Some people are born with hymens that are naturally open. And many other activities besides sex can stretch your hymen. So you can’t tell if someone has had sex by the way their hymen looks or feels.

What’s a Hymen?

A thin membrane that surrounds the opening to the vagina. Hymens can come in different shapes. The most common hymen in young women is shaped like a half moon. This shape allows menstrual blood to flow out of the vagina. READ MORE

Types of hymen.

•Normal/Annular

•Imperforate

•Microperforate

•Cribriform Hymen

•Septate

Imperforate hymen:

An imperforate hymen is a thin membrane that completely covers the opening to the vagina. Menstrual blood cannot flow out of the vagina.

Septate hymen:

A septate hymen is when the thin hymenal membrane has a band of extra tissue in the middle that causes two small vaginal openings instead of one.

Microperforate hymen:

A microperforate hymen is a thin membrane that almost completely covers the opening to the vagina. Menstrual blood is usually able to flow out of the vagina but the opening is very small. A young woman with a microperforate hymen usually will not be able to insert a tampon into her vagina and may not realize that she has a very tiny opening. continue reading

Cribriform hymen

A cribriform hymen means that the hymen has multiple small perforations (holes). The condition is congenital, meaning someone is born with it. learn more.

You’ll enjoy reading this 👇🏾

Sexual Compatibility.

The photos of GUESTS AT LIQUOROSE’S GATSBY THEMED 27TH BIRTHDAY PARTY are so lovely, you’ll love them.

See how our Instagram community REACTED TO THE REPLIES ABOVE.

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Comments (22)

Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

He wasn’t surprised oo. Because we tried for 3 days before he finally got through. So the bleeding was not even important. It’s the cry cry girl. Keep your virginity till wedding night they said. Omo e pain me die.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

No reaction, both med students then, though he later wondered to me and we reasoned together that it isnnot out of the ordinary. He did have a lot of trouble penetrating even with a finger and we had to stop due to pain. I told him later I had stains though, had to wear panty liner for like 3days. No serious bleeding like that. Same for when he was finally able to penetrate. Later later told me he believed completely when he read my journal where I wrote that I didn’t even know how to kiss😅 I guess the fact I was in uni and hadn’t done the do made it somehow unbelievable to him🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

First time I did it, I didn’t bleed because I already lost it while climbing bunk
My mum always warned against sport activities without reason so growing up I was always calm and practically a bench warmer during sport activities
I gained admission to the uni and was given up bunk hostel accommodation.. the bunk was very high that I do almost or even 90 degrees when climbing.. there was no ladder
The first night, I climbed and slept.. Woke up to blood in my pant but I didn’t even know what it meant
Second night same thing
Told the first brother I was a Virgin and he didn’t believe cos there was no bleeding.. he blocked me everywhere and was so angry 😆
Guess when I realised that was how I lost my virginity?
My final year in school when I was trying to recap and relive every year in my head
God is good! 😆 🤣
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

Funny enough we didn’t talk about it, pain was so much for me, he was just telling me sorry and it was our wedding night and mind you, there was no full penetration because of pain so he used his finger and still no blood. I was busy telling him I don’t want to stain the bedsheet, he was just telling me sorry and that I should relax. Full penetration was 3 months after wedding and no blood still. Mind you I used to be very acrobatic in primary and secondary school (splitting, backflips, front flips etc) so maybe hymen broke then… I’m not sure o.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

I thank God for my first. He had all the knowledge in the world, was so gentle and passionate, I think it took about 3days because he didn’t want me to feel any discomfort or pain. I didn’t bleed that initial time but subsequently I started bleeding almost every time we had sex. We both got worried and was about to schedule an appointment with the gynecologist when the bleeding suddenly stopped. Even though we are not together anymore I’m happy he was my first
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

I didn’t bleed the first time we tried,there was no full penetration.shit was so painful o,I cried o,he was just saying sorry and had to stop..There was no blood stains on the bed,but wen I got home there was stain in my undies and wen I was bathing washed off blood..I guess he sometimes doubt the truth in d virginity but probably beleived cause of the pain and struggle we had.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

It was a bad experience ma’am
He didn’t believe I was a virgin at first
During that sex, I was in so much pain I just had to tell him to stop and I wore my panties immediately, my pussy was hot and I couldn’t walk properly. He asked why I didn’t bleed, it almost because an issue for us
Only to get home to seeing blood all over my panties, I told him what I saw and I don’t know if he believes me till date. And I still cannot explain what that blood meant
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

banged me so hard and i felt a sharp pain and started bleeding. It stopped just when i guess all the blood that wanted to come out, came out. We were so scared that we taught I’d probably had internal injury. But after that moment, that was it with the blood.

We had another round just to be sure that it wasn’t an injury, maybe I will feel pain or something to know why I bleeded that way during sex, but couldn’t detect anything. Because I felt so alright down there.

Thank you ma for this… you just gave peace and answers to a heart filled with questions. This Topic came right on time.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

I was too pissed off that he did it knowing quite well that I was not ready for him to even talk about the fact that I didn’t bleed. I trusted this person with my body because we had made out countless times without clothes and he never took it further because I wasn’t ready. This fateful day, I was so into the whole act that i only felt the discomfort for a brief moment before it was pleasurable and then it registered to me that I was having sex for the first time. We just never spoke about it after that. I guess because I was at ease with this person made it mildly discomforting.
However, I bled when I eventually did have my first consensual sex.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

• I still don’t know how I lost it. The first time didn’t feel like the first time and it had me so very confused. I know I had tried the act once 2 years before then but the pain didn’t let me proceed. So, I can’t remember if there was any other occasion but I was totally confused. Didn’t tell the person it was my first time, wanted him to find out and then the confusion of not feeling any pain or seeing any blood. It made me hate sex for a long time that I was never satisfied, only did it without emotions. Currently, I’m fighting to enjoy it. Sometimes I do, sometimes my brain zooms off. Like it all resides in my mind and I wish to be free to enjoy the act with my husband now.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

•He didn’t believed he was my first even though he knew very well how painful and difficult it was. But good thing is that he didn’t make me uncomfortable about it. I guessed ballet did more than made me flexible.
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

•Hmm. Till today he never believes I was a virgin. He said I enjoyed it too much also, that first timers don’t enjoy sex that much. That’s his own cup of tea sha 🤣😂😂😂
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

•Hmm. Till today he never believes I was a virgin. He said I enjoyed it too much also, that first timers don’t enjoy sex that much. That’s his own cup of tea sha 🤣😂😂😂

It never bothered me. 8 years down the line, I’ve been ENJOYING sex, so I guess it’s my destiny

He didn’t believe I was a virgin and was trying to guilt trip me over it 😑 talmbout I lied and he will never forgive me ontop my own virginity
I dump his ass after the sex tho

It been years but recently when we talked he still find it hard to believe you can be a virgin and not bleed cos he’s still asking me to tell him the truth about who disvirgin me cos it definitely not him
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

He was a pharmacist and he knew the possibilities, so he had to educate me on that. But the struggle was not funny,I had the experience at 26 & am 40 now but can’t forget the drama that day
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

My experience…In year 2011,during my NYSC year…I was making out with my boyfriend then, I told him, I don’t want to do anything, I got carried away with the foreplay…Boom!!! I felt a very sharp pain from my brain, I pushed him,then I realized he had broken my hymen, I bleeded for almost a week… I took medications before it stopped…There was no deep penetration, the pain was so unbearable…Since 2011 till date… i don’t have the gut to try again…I asked a doctor friend of mine, he said I should had allowed him do the penetration in,that I’m starting afresh…I’m so scared to start over again…
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

He told me I was lying and pretending for months(we tried for about 6months and I wouldn’t let him penetrate as a result of pains). What he thought didn’t bother me,because I was ready. I did it for me,not him. Years after we broke up,he raised the topic again saying who was my first? I told him,whether he thinks he was my first or not,I didn’t care. He was only a vessel God used for that purpose. Someone else would have done it,if it wasn’t him🤣. He almost died from the shock!
Anonymous
ReplyMay 20, 2022

I googled what a hymen was supposed to look like and took a mirror to look down my vijayjay, spread my legs apart and saw it. Something like a covering with tiny holes in it. I checked because I wasn’t sure I was still a virgin at the time even though I hadn’t consciously had sex, I had been abused severally growing up but couldn’t remember if there was an actual penetration. So when I made up my mind to do the do, I had to check make e no be like say person dey lie… It hurt like hell the first two days though and no blood. But you see the third day ehnnn, I felt the pain in my brain and I knew this was it… when I got up, I saw blood. Such a gentleman lol, he wasn’t even looking for it. I didn’t marry him though. He still cheated. Nonsense. I’m married now though. My husband didn’t even care about all of that 😂😂
Anonymous
ReplyMay 21, 2022

While in my primary school I was very acrobatic. I was part of the gymnastics team🤸‍♀️ & I got into the uni (Esut), had a bf Kingsley …. he was the first. He wasn’t surprised I dint bleed . He would always keep trying & trying & be calming me down while at it until he did it finally one day. I dint bleed at all & he dint make me feel bad or anything. I’ve dated guys before him & I never had penetration with any of them! He gave me reasons & lectured me abit about virginity / hymen. He was even the one that told me , I might not bleed.
We not dating no longer but, I’ve never had to forget this . God bless you Kingsley 😩❤️
Nene
ReplyMay 21, 2022

We tried for well over two months. When it eventually happened, there was no blood. He didn’t say anything but years after we broke up, his best friend’s wife casually said “ but it wasn’t him that disvirgined you now?” I was shook! Me? I confronted him when we talked again and he denied ever said that to anyone. He admitted that we had tried for a long time and that he wasn’t expecting any blood. Wetin concern me?🙄
Anonymous
ReplyMay 21, 2022

I didn’t bleed the first time it was so tight and extremely painful and the guy didn’t believe that I was a Virgin cause I didn’t bleed
Busayo
ReplyMay 22, 2022

He said a lot of hurtful things when he was trying to breakup with me and he mentioned that I claimed to be a virgin when we had sex for the first time and I didn’t even bleed. He called me a whore and all that. Thinking about it now after almost 10 years still hurt as hell. I loved him so much. He’s the only one I dated that had the best of everything concerning me.