Around the time I was pregnant with my son, a known celebrity was also pregnant. She gave birth some weeks before I did showed her postpartum Bod and flat tummy on the gram. On seeing this, I immediately told myself I was also going to do this, besides I was also a skinny girl. Hmmn, this was me not considering or thinking about what she did to get there.
This definitely did no go well for me, as I found myself blaming my body for not being good enough to give me what she had. For you, it might have been a friend, some one you follow or admire etc., that got to you in some way.
I am sure we are all familiar with the unrealistic ideal body standard a woman should have after childbirth. And how not fitting into the category, makes us feel like we are no longer attractive or our bodies are not perfect enough However, what we do not realise is that, constantly seeing images/pictures of photoshopped or unrealistic bodies on the gram, unconsciously makes us feel inadequate.
In emphasizing this point, Today I will be highlighting what happens to our confidence unconsciously through the media. I would also be explaining the importance of getting intentional with what we take in, especially as mums. Whilst, next week I will be talking about practical steps we can take to control this.
So lets begin!
Unrealistic expectations are created
For me, I was a happy expectant mum, waiting for her beautiful baby. However, haven gone through lots and lots of perfect body types on the gram. Overtime, I realised that the pregnancy , it became more about my body, than it was about the baby. It was more about how it had to bounce back and fit societal expectation. This in itself is not bad, but to what extent and amount pressure was I willing to subject myself to.
Research has shown that the level of pressure or expectations we create on ourselves, are based on what we have come across through the media and those around us. And when we don’t get our desired result, we cave , blame ourselves, refuse to work on ourselves, and over time, find that our confidence and self esteem around other people begins to drop. Sounds familiar?
Comparisons ARE CREATED
Constantly feeding our minds with body standard images, and constantly hearing things about what other women should look like after childbirth etc. creates comparisons. And the truth is most times, we are oblivious to what these other mums did to get there. For instance ,It could have been exercising daily, or being on a diet plan , surgery, watching what she eats etc. All we know is that this mum got flat tummy in three (3) weeks and we want same, ASAP.
Talk about unrealistic expectations and disappointments. Always very painful for us!
Limiting Beliefs are developed
This point balls down from all I have mentioned above. Once we create those unrealistic expectations and comparisons, and we fail to meet up, it destroys us. As a result, we find ourselves saying negative things about our bodies, and confidence level dropping . For instance, using words like my tummy will never be flat, I am no longer attractive, I am never getting my body back etc..
And the truth about life is that, we get exactly what we say to ourselves. If you think you will never get your tummy right, you are right; if you think you will, you are also right. As a result, limiting beliefs are developed which in turn ultimately affects our self esteem and confidence.
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