Breadcrumbing is a term that describes the act of casually and sporadically engaging with someone (often a romantic interest) by sending text messages, social media posts, or other forms of communication while not following through on plans to meet in person. Breadcrumbing in relationships can be incredibly frustrating and painful for the person on the receiving end.
In recent years, breadcrumbing in relationships has become more common as technology has advanced. It’s easier than ever before to send out those “Hey” texts or “Just thought about you” messages without any intention of following through on making plans to meet up in real life. So what does this mean for your relationship status? Is breadcrumbing the new relationship status?
It depends. Some people will use breadcrumbers as a way to let someone down gently without having to face them directly, but others may just be trying to keep their options open until something better comes along—in which case, they’re probably just trying to avoid hurting your feelings with an outright rejection or ghosting move. If you think your partner might be breadcrumbing you, read on!
What is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing is the act of dropping occasional breadcrumbs on your breadcrumb trail with no intention of ever fully leading the other person to where you are. No, this is not a typo or a recipe for a delicious gluten-free snack, but it is something that you should be aware of so that you don’t become the prey of this ever-growing phenomenon.
It is when someone gives you just enough attention to make you think that converting into a full-blown relationship is a possibility. In reality, breadcrumbing is just an easy way for someone to lead you on and give you the false impression that you have a chance with them. It’s a way for people to string someone along without any real intentions of giving them anything further in the relationship.
Signs You Are Being Breadcrumbed:
1. Inconsistent Communication
This is a classic breadcrumber move. A Breadcrumber blows hot and cold from time to time. They would be super responsive for maybe a week and then the next week, they disappear. They go missing in action for days and then text you later like nothing happened.
2. Emotional Unavailability
Aside from poor communication, they are also emotionally unavailable. They make you do all the relationship work; plan a date, call, text, and all but they don’t give their nearest minimum. They are only available when they want to, not when you need them.
3. Lack of Commitment
They only want to spend time with you when it is convenient for them. They only hit you up when they are in your city, when they are bored, on weekends, on holidays e.t.c. Basically, they do not go out of their way to spend time with you, it only happens when they want to. For some breadcrumbers, they are only with you because they get certain things from you. For example, they get validation when they are with you, this can happen in a case where a man gets validation from his friends and family for showing up with a beautiful woman or a woman getting validation for showing up with a rich man.
4. They cancel plans often
Ghosting is all about getting out of communication without an explanation. But what about all those times when you plan to meet but there is always something that comes up? It could be illness, work demands or even car trouble but it remains consistent. And when you try to reschedule but they never get back to you, this is definitely a sign of breadcrumbing. They don’t care enough to take the lead in arranging another date but they are interested enough to keep you on hold.
5. You are not on ‘official’ status
One of the biggest signs of breadcrumbing in a relationship is that your relationship is not defined. Sometimes they say they love you but they don’t want to put a label on it, or sometimes they are just ‘seeing how it goes’ today, you are just friends, tomorrow, you are the love of their life. They tell you they don’t want a relationship but they still act like you are in one, leaving you very confused and every time you try to talk about it, the conversation gets derailed.
Ultimately, if you aren’t sure how someone feels about you, wait it out. In my personal experience, people who are actually interested in pursuing a relationship will let you know. When you are interacting with someone who flakes regularly or silences your attempts at conversation, they may not be worth your time…even if they have an attractive profile.
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