How To Tell If Your Partner Is Emotionally Unavailable

You’ve been dating someone for a while now, and everything was going great. You were having fun together and you thought that they were just as into you as you were into them. But then one day, things changed. Suddenly your partner wasn’t as interested in talking with you or seeing you as much anymore. This may be because they’re emotionally unavailable.

Emotional unavailability is a major problem for many people because it means your partner can’t be truly connected with you. If you find yourself in this situation, you’ve likely been feeling like something isn’t right for quite some time—but you may not know what it is.

What is Emotional Unavailability? 

Emotional unavailability is a term used to describe people who have difficulty expressing or feeling emotion. They may be very kind and generous, but when it comes time for emotional intimacy or vulnerability in a relationship, they shut down and close off their feelings.

It is important to state that there are two main types of emotionally unavailable people—the avoidant and the anxious. Both types of people can exhibit some of these same behaviors (and both types might not even realize they’re doing anything wrong), but they tend to do so in different ways.

If this sounds like someone you know (or if it sounds like yourself), here are some signs that your partner may be emotionally unavailable. 

They don’t want to talk about their feelings or problems. 

If your partner is emotionally unavailable, they most likely do not want to talk about anything emotional at all, or they may only want to talk about things that are superficial or don’t involve any vulnerability on their part.

They seem uninterested in your life or hobbies. 

They might ask questions about what you do but then never follow up with questions of their own or any interest in learning more about it later on down the road—or maybe they just don’t ask questions at all! The result is that it feels like your interests are being ignored or dismissed entirely by this person who says they care about you.

They’re too busy for a relationship. 

This one is tricky because it can seem like something completely different at first. Maybe they’re just busy with work or school, or maybe they’re trying to build their career. But if their priorities are constantly shifting and they don’t prioritize spending time with you, that’s a sign that they might not be ready for a relationship right now.

They Don’t Make Time For You.

One of the major signs that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they don’t make time for you. They can’t be bothered to go on dates or even talk on the phone when they have time off work. If they don’t make time for you, then they don’t care about you. If they don’t care about you, then why should you keep trying?

They Don’t Care About Your Feelings.

Emotional unavailability isn’t just about how often someone makes time for their partner. It’s also about how much effort they put into understanding how their partner feels and what their needs might be. If your partner doesn’t seem to care about how you feel about certain issues and what you need at a particular time, they are most likely emotionally unavailable. 

They don’t want to talk about the future

They often do not want to discuss the future of your relationship. This could be a sign that they’re not interested in having a serious relationship with you. Maybe they just want someone around who will listen when they need someone and make them feel better when they’re feeling down. If that’s all it is, then there’s no reason for either of you to wait around for something more serious than that!

They shut down when something goes wrong

Emotionally unavailable people don’t deal well with conflict and may even avoid it at all costs. This means that if something goes wrong between the two of you, no matter how small or big, your partner will likely shut down completely. They do not try to understand where things went wrong or how to fix them together as a couple. 

They can’t handle conflict

Emotional unavailability is often accompanied by a fear of conflict and confrontation. This means that even when something does come up between you two, your partner will not be able to handle it well enough. The best thing to do if this happens is just to walk away from the situation until things cool off!

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need this blog post. We’d all be able to recognize emotional unavailability, and the pain it causes, instantly. But we don’t live in a perfect world. And so, if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, and you’re not sure why, consider the possibility that your partner is emotionally unavailable. 

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