High Maintenance Friendships: Yay or Nay?

High-maintenance friendships are the ones where that one friend always need something from you. They have an endless list of demands, and they expect you to be able to handle it all.

They’re not necessarily bad people—they’re just in a position where they need a lot of support from other people, and sometimes that means asking for help. The problem is when the requests for assistance become so frequent that your relationship with them starts feeling like more of an obligation than anything else.

When you feel like you can’t say no, or when your friend asks for help on things that really aren’t your responsibility to take care of, it can start to feel like your friendship is getting out of hand—and maybe even unhealthy.

That’s why we’re talking about high-maintenance friendships today: because we want everyone to know how important it is to maintain boundaries in their relationships with others.

Here are some signs that might mean you’re in a high maintenance friendship:

  • Your friend is always asking for favors, but never returns the favor.
  • You feel like all of your conversations with them revolve around them talking about themselves or their problems.
  • Loyalty means something different. Your friend thinks you always have to be in their corner. You always have to support them even when they are wrong.

  • You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them because anything could set them off, or any minor criticism could cause them to blow up at you.
  • You find yourself feeling uncomfortable around them more often than not—like something just isn’t right with this relationship, but you can’t put your finger on what exactly needs fixing.
  • You feel like you’re always having to give advice or fix their problems.
  • You have trouble setting boundaries because you feel guilty when you say no—you might even feel like saying no makes them mad at you!

  • You’ve tried talking about your feelings about this friendship before and got brushed off or ignored by them—they don’t seem interested in what you have to say about the situation.
  • You feel like you always have to baby them. This can range from helping out to full-blown babying. When you are in public, you constantly have to be around them, get them food and drinks, make sure they have fun, get them to participate without having any time for yourself. 
  • Now that we know the signs, it is highly essential to set boundaries so that the friendship doesn’t continue to drain you.

Here are some tips for setting boundaries in high maintenance friendships:

  • First, ask yourself why this person is so high maintenance. Is it because they’re just naturally anxious? Or is it because they’re using their anxiety as a way to manipulate others? If it’s the latter, then it’s definitely time to end things.
  • Be clear about what you’re willing to do when your friend asks for something. If you’re busy or don’t feel like spending time together right now, say so!

  • Don’t make excuses for why you can’t hang out or don’t want to go somewhere with them—just say “no” as politely as possible and move on.
  • If they get upset when you say no (or any other time), try saying something like “I’m sorry but no” instead of being defensive or explaining yourself (which will just lead into another conversation).
  • Don’t let yourself feel guilty when setting these boundaries—it’s okay not to spend time with everyone all the time

All of these suggestions can be boiled down to one simple rule: communicate your boundaries. If a friendship is falling into the category of high maintenance, it probably won’t change unless you address the issue directly.

Enjoyed reading this? Then you’d definitely love these👇👇



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Newsletter Signup

Hi Lovely,

Glad to have you here.

Please take out a minute to subscribe to our weekly newsletter so you don't miss out.