Getting back with an Ex.

by Ngozi AbiolaOctober 31, 2022October 31, 202229

Some say “Your Ex is an ex for a reason” others say “an ex deserves a second chance”. What do you say? We asked our community their experiences on getting back with an ex and now we’re unsure which of the quotes above is best.

Let’s know what you think after reading these👇🏾

How did these answers make you feel? Did they confirm your thoughts or is this all new to you?

You can view more replies on our INSTAGRAM FEED.

While talking about Exs, have you ever wondered WHY THAT STUBBORN EX KEEPS coming BACK?

You can read more in the comments section below. Go ahead and share your experiences too, we’d love to read them.

Have you read these? 👇🏾

How To Get Over A Breakup Fast

The 7 Deadly Sins Women Commit In Financial Management

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Tags: love, Relationship

Comments (29)

Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Went terribly! We dated for about 2 years without having sex. Baba came back and after we made up, he started putting immediate pressure on me to ‘do the do’. I just knew he came to ‘chop and go’ 😂 January 1st 2021, I cut him off totally without prior warning, even blocked his sister that introduced us to each other. April 2021, I met my husband, married him this year May. This would not have happened if I was not determined to know my worth, tbh.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Disastrous!!!! He came back to finish the shege he started showing me!!!!! I was crying every day and dealing with terrible anxiety. A few months into the second chance I just woke up from sleep and blocked his numbers and told my security not to let him in again. I think my mother’s prayers finally kicked in.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Married 5 years now. He’s annoying as he’ll but I wouldn’t change a thing
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

After five years I thought this man will have some personal goals or values.. so laid back and depends on his parents for everything, since we graduated he has refused to work and is just banking on his parents because he’ll go to the uk for his masters soon… no job experience,professional certification…urged him to start a business and his alleged partner is his female bestie who I hate so much and vice versa… 5 YEARS!! He broke up with me because of her and came to beg after a while, my therapist has warned me to leave him and I’m hoping distance will help achieve that once he travels
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Good day ms_asoebi
I went back to my ex and we are going to 11years now in marriage
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I did, it turned out to be the worst decision I have ever made in life. What caused the break the first time will still happen.
I left him the first time for these reasons; No care, attention and a cheater. After I took him back, I began to condone all the reasons that made me leave in the first place. I was making excuses for him. He will tell me of his sexcapade and we will laugh about, after the call, I will feel so sad. Whenever I am leaving his house, I am always feeling like a fool, always doubting.
I thank God for opening my eyes, I wish it was sooner. After spending a weekend at his place and his attitude all through my stay, on my way back home, it was like a revelation, I realized I am too special for this. I asked my myself, what am I getting out of this arrangement, nothing. I just blocked him everywhere. He tried to reach out by all means but I didn’t give him any listening ears. I am DONE.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Hmmmmm, my is a pathetic and painful one. He was dating me and sleeping with another who got pregnant and married her. 4year later the marriage crashed after 2 kids and he came begging with his family and friend to me and my family. I decided to take him back and after 2 years we parted ways because too many distraction from his ex who felt slightly that he came back to me. According to her, I’m the one that his mother was also always saying they know and all of a sudden she came from the nowhere. I will advise that no woman takes back her ex, it can never be the same because the past is not easily forgiven. Tank you.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I had this mentality then that I must marry the guy that disvirgined me so this my Ex will hurt me I will take him back everytime he knew that was my problem plus he was really good in bed so he will call me even anytime and I will jump back into the relationship I knew he is a cheat oh but I just couldn’t think properly I wanted him too much. I was even convincing myself then that as long as I enjoyed this chemistry I didn’t mind anything else 😮 God helped me and I relocated abroad it was like my eyes opened that was like 8years ago the guy is still begging me to come back to him but I have been asking myself what was so special abt him. ThnkGod for self love and esteem
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Took and ex back because I wanted to show him shege😹😂😂. I later served him breakfast, premium one than the one he gave me earlier😹😂😂😂. The story is always funny anytime I remember 😂😂😂😹😹😹.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Married an ex, worst mistake of my life! Constant domestic abuse,cheating to my face,lacks emphaty..delibrately not setting me up for business with the mentality of i will be successful and leave! To think I’m a master degree holder for years of no employment and managing the little resources i had saved up from the business i had before getting married,the inconsistency of moving in and out of the house affected my business stability to restart,i have left several times and back many times even with counseling! I am currently battling depression, anxiety disorder, swallowing pills to sleep! I’ve gotten a federal govt job now but not started getting paid as its a new commission! I’ve finally summoned the courage to leave by getting my own place cos i saved up for it, my fear of starting all over again from scratch,takin care of the kids alone cos he’s the type to not reach out to you when you leave.fear of the unknown,of what if i fail my kids as a single mum?But i’ve to face my fear.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

It happened a year after our divorce Bros came back crying that he still wants me he started recounting how he failed in his previous relationship and telling me he realized his mistakes telling me he knew he failed to be a good husband to me and he was crying like a baby and I thought maybe things would get better this time maybe he finally decided to be married this time cos he already had two failed relationship before me so I was thinking he would be ready to make this work this time little did I know that he only wanted to have a taste of me before going back to the state it’s actually a long story when I couldn’t deal with the heart break cos I felt cheated and I was blaming myself as to why must I always be the unlucky one I refused to believe all the tears and pleas of that day couldn’t have been just for him to have sex with me I started calling he was giving me attitude but I refused to give up until he finally told me his family refused on us getting back together
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Yes I did. Best decision ever. We’re married now (dated for 6 years broke up for one of those 6). We started dating in uni but it just felt like he needed to grow up. He’s younger and also laid back so I always felt like the active one in the relationship. He had this thing he used to do where anytime we have a fight, he’ll say we should break up. This particular time, I got tired of the BS and left him. I didn’t call him or pick his call. Within one year, he cleaned himself up, got a job ( he didn’t have one before) and came back begging. The change was so surprising. We dated for 3 more years after that and eventually got married last year. He never threatened breakup again. If we have a misunderstanding, we will talk about it immediately and resolve it. We’ve never had a major fight since we got back together. I guess the breakup made him realise he didn’t want to lose me. He doubled up his hustle too. Learnt a new skill, relocated us abroad. The breakup worked for me.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I can’t say he was an ex because to me we where never dating but to him we where in a full blown relationship, He was in the relationship all by himself. For me he was in the friend zone. I had moved on and dated 3 guys at different times which I always gisted with him about them , this guys was still there hoping and praying that someday I will want him too. Well eventually I did and am glad I did. It’s being 5 years of being happily married. Of cause he too grew out of the things I didn’t like. So it was more like we where getting ready for each other
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Hmmmm….I didnt only take him back…I also got married to him. I thought I loved him so much that I couldn’t live without him but after the marriage, pregnancy and my delivery, I realized I’ve been really silly…except for my beautiful daughter, I’m not happy at all in this marriage…this man hasnt even bought a single gift for me, didnt come to the hospital even though I underwent c section, I literally buy everything my daughter needs and even worse, he hasnt had sex with me since i found out i was pregnant…like I literally dont get anything from him
So I always ask myself, why I got married to him. There is always a reason why someone becomes an ex…no use going back…but life happens🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

My ex & 1st love came back saying his new year resolution was for us to make peace and continue with our journey in life as a future couple. He apologised and I agree!
Meanwhile sometime back he posted a lady on his status and told her happy birthday as an industrious colleague.
GUESS WHATTTTTT??! I woke up one Sunday morning and was going through my Instagram explore before I go to church… A wedding photographer posted him and the so “called colleague” and said congratulations your union is blessed. I almost committed suc!de that day. I was in utter shock! I felt like a failureeee. I’ve told alot of guys no and even introduced them to him as my future partner😭😭😭. He will even be saying block those guys disturbing you, they want to kill the future
we have together…
I decided to act like I didn’t know he is married and GUESS WHAT??? This dəmon was still acting along and calling me sweet names and offering to buy me fast food. Telling me how genuinely he want to wife me…
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I just feel I should share my story, was in Lagos living very happy after a separation, he came knocking and sincere at first, we started dating, along the line I noticed he knew so much about my whereabouts and all despite him not been in Nigeria.
I’ll say this they never change, the reason why we separated the first time they were still all there. He told me to leave my house and live with him, he arrived Nigeria late last year and thank God I’m out now, I left last week.
The mumu me believe all his lies, he was dominating, controlling, always judging you, always fabricating things, always telling me I’m wrong, he was not caring at all, I got depressed and attempted suicide when he told me if I don’t get pregnant in 3 months I’m out, I started thinking, used lots of drugs o but I wasn’t pregnant.
Did IVF, it failed because they had to save my life, my ovaries accumulated lots of fluids, like 3litres of fluids was taking from my ovaries for 5 days, this guy will be abusing

He tracked all my movements, told me to change my sim, stop talking to my friends, he deleted my Facebook, twitter and instagram, if I stay more than a minute on the phone it is war,
Ho he’s also a divorcée with a child.
I made a terrible mistake taking him back, I knew I deserve more.

Before I left him my conclusion was he needed a maid not a wife. Wasted my time, energy, money happiness, joy for a whole year.

Thank God for my family if not🥹🥹🥹

I’m so teary right now and I felt used all over🥹🥹 he made me question God every time I cry, I’m always crying 😢 No single happiness in the past one year, went from being 80kg to 65k.
I don’t know when I will heal from this, I don’t, I’m always sad 😔
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Took back an ex 3 years ago we dated for 1 year then we broke up, still regretting the fact that I gave him a second chance
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Yes o. I was vulnerable and broke. I just started my NYSC then. Baba came back promising heaven and earth, mumu me nah, I agreed. We re-started dating again. Then he ghosted me. The next thing I saw was pre-wedding pictures. He had a very big wedding. The thing that pained me the most was that because I thought we were getting married and my life was already set as per Oga had a nice job and all, I didn’t make any plans for life after NYSC. I was served premium breakfast just as the service year ended. That’s where my problems started. I was back to square zero; no husband, no job, depression set in. But thank God, I volunteered in an NGO and got a job couple of months later.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Hi Asoebi!
I dated a guy in University he was every woman’s dream, he is the tall, dark and handsome kind of guy…but I took my time before agreeing to date him, he was my first so of course I was naive…This guys cheats more than cheat itself even with girls that knew we were together, he just enjoyed the attention from ladies even though some times I spend weeks in his house…I caught some very flirty messages on his phone and I broke up but he came back begging and all, I accepted him back which I regret because the cheating didn’t stop, I had infection and he was just unapologetic about the cheating…The second chance was brutal that I had to break up finally but i was so hurt it took me years to heal up and trust any man again…9 Years later, we are distant friends he is still begging me for forgiveness thinking I am the cause of his marital status he is almost 40! I am happily married with a kid…
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Disastrous. He ghosted me and started texting later now asking me to have fun with him while he see other ladies. I feel like a failure now because how can this be happening to me!!!
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

The guy in question wasn’t an ex, just somebody I met and our vibe was so in sync. I liked him so much, I thought he liked me too. I’d just gotten out of a relationship so I really wasn’t in a hurry to go back in, we went on a date once, then he ghosted me. I moved on because I wasn’t even sure I wanted anything with him. Few months later he came back saying he was sorry he was in a bad place blablabla, I was still single and I still didn’t think he was a wicked man😂 so I started talking to him again, we didn’t even start dating officially before he ghosted me again! Ah, this time I promised to move on o and I did, he came back another few months later to say he was sorry and he didn’t know he still needed healing, I’m like have a nice life sir! Been there done that and burnt the T-shirt.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

This question poll today is very xciting 😁 4 Me bcs 8 months ago, I got married to my ex & I can’t thank God enough for helping me mak that beautiful decision😭.. I never had anything against him in d first place so it was only right to accept him back wen he came pleading that I agree to marry him (after learning that my wedding to som1 else was cacelled) I was sooo so reluctant bcs I felt pple wud think I actually went begging bcs my weddingvwas cancelled plus I was emotionally unstable.. thank God 4 my mom who guided me into thinking objectively
I really love my husband nd we’re right for each other. For d 1 year that I left him, it hurt me.
I’d jxt say b4 going back to ur ex, ponder over d reason u got separated in d 1st place, then use Yr brain 🧠 not ur heart…
Thanks 😊
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

We broke up out of childishness in March 2020. after dating since dec 2018. Dated different people during the breakup and saw that nothing was outside ooooo. We got back July 2020 and got to grow in understanding. We got married June 2022. Absolutely one of the best decision we took together. He is my soul mate and I love him with my entire being! He loves me even more.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I need to narrate a little so that we all can be on the same page, i went into a relationship after hubby nd i broke in 2011, it was a disastrous one, i made up my mind that until God reveal who my husband is, i wont go into any other relationship, infact i could remember saying i will beat him on the night of my wedding for making me go through such a stress b4 locating me🤣🤣🤣🤣..though after our breakup, he calls once every year to check up on me, breaks the sim and doesnt reach out till another the next year. Long story short..he calles again..but this time around he wanted us to meet, we met, gisted, forgave ourselves and moved on. Then i went to fasting and prayer about marriage….nd then God revealed me to not once, not twice, not even three times that he was my husband…before then i cld remember i wanted my pastor to join me in paryers nd i wanted to send him list of guys, i actually forgot to include hubby’s name na..as he is an ex, as i was abt to send na him hubby

To check up, so i say make i manage put him name oo, his name was the last on my list. Na so wen my pastor too called, he said who is the last guy on the list..say na him oo🤣🤣that was another confirmation. So it was not like i just decided to go back to him.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I dated this guy after my Nysc, my friend introduced us. Nothing was right about him from the beginning, but I was too in love to notice all the red flags lol. Until I caught him flirting with my cousin, tho my cousin didn’t know we were together that time. I broke up with him after confronting him blocked him everywhere. Baba started pestering my friend’s life to beg me and all, I forgave him and took him back, I met a guy now my husband while I was still dating him. I broke up with him two month after taking him back. It was a long distance relationship so it was easy for me to move on
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

I have oooo. He still DUMPED me and married someone else. I will never try it again
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 31, 2022

Yes we are married now with a son
Cyril Vivian
ReplyJanuary 4, 2023

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