Dating Struggles As Introverts

Dating is hard. Dating as introverts is even harder.

You’ve probably heard many things about introverts, and they’re not always positive. People tend to think that we’re shy or socially awkward, but that’s not necessarily true. We just need time to recharge after social interactions. And it may take us longer than most people to warm up to someone new—but once we do get comfortable with someone, we bond quickly.

As an introvert myself, I know how hard dating can be—especially when you don’t know where to start! So here are some tips for dating as an introvert:

Don’t try to be someone else.

Just be yourself. If you try to be a different person, it will probably come across in your body language or the way you talk, which will make things worse than they need to be. Just be yourself, and people will love it!


Don’t let your shyness get the best of you.

This is the most important thing I can tell you about dating as an introvert: don’t let your shyness get the best of you! If something on your mind needs saying, just say it! Even if it’s awkward at first, eventually you’ll get used to talking about whatever it is that’s bothering you so much—and then it won’t seem like such a big deal anymore!


Don’t force yourself to talk about things you don’t care about. 

If you’re at a party and someone starts talking about politics, but you have no interest in politics whatsoever, let them know by saying something like “I’m just not really interested in talking about that right now.” You’ll come off as honest and confident—and they’ll probably respect your honesty and move on to someone else who is interested in politics!

Take breaks from conversations when needed. 

You don’t have to stay engaged all night long—if your date starts talking about something that bores you, say “Hmmm… I’m going to go check out this other part of the party.” Then step away and do something else until they come to find you again! 


Don’t try too hard. 

The fact that you’re an introvert means that you don’t need to speak all the time or be the first one to make plans, and this can actually work in your favour when it comes to dating! When someone sees how comfortable you are with silence, they’ll likely want to talk more with you—especially if they’re an extrovert, who tends to get bored easily when people aren’t talking all the time.

Know your limits when it comes to socialising. 

If there’s a particular social situation that triggers anxiety for you (like meeting up with strangers), avoid those situations unless absolutely necessary (for example: if it’s part of your job). If possible, don’t go alone—take at least one friend.


Practice makes perfect! 

The more often we practice things like making small talk or asking people out on dates (or even just talking with people), the easier they become over time.

Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how introverted you are. If you want to date, get out there and try it. Be open, honest, and friendly. I know for us as introverts, it’s not that simple but trust me, once you get past the initial hurdle of talking to someone, anything else is easy. 

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