Dating a Married Man.

by Ngozi AbiolaOctober 27, 2023October 27, 202331

Exploring a controversial trend: Single ladies dating married men.

As social dynamics evolve, so do relationship norms. This unconventional path raises questions about ethics, boundaries, and the complexities of modern love. Is it a quest for excitement, emotional connection, or societal rebellion?

Join the conversation, and let’s navigate the nuances of this contemporary dating phenomenon as the ladies in our community share their experiences.

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Read more stories of single ladies dating married men in the comments. You’re welcome to share yours, we are always happy to read from you.

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Tags: cheating, infidelity, marriage, Married, single ladies

Comments (31)

Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I am currently dating one . I am a single mom of one
I knew him before I got married . We stopped seeing after I got married , reconnected with him years later when hubby got abusive,he was shoulder I leaned us during those tough days . The marriage ended . We continued dating . I’ve known him for 8years .He’s very caring and sweet and he’s family oriented 😊. He’s actually asking me to marry him as a second wife or have a child for him but naaaaaah 😄 Let me just be doing side chic in peace 😊
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I met him through a friend and we’ve been inseparable ever since 2013 , it was about the money for me at first but he is crazily in love with me… I just started seeing someone and tried to end things so many times but he keeps coming back and won’t let me rest with tears. He is amazing person , gives me peace of mind and he has always supported me , he gave me my first millions. He sponsored me to Canada where I am presently , I rly want to end things so I can start my family and I feel so bad for him
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

met him when he was married, didn’t have anything to do with him then, just talking and collecting money. then he got separated and we started seeing, 2 years in he started talking marriage, he asked me to marry him on three different occasions, but me i can’t because his wife has refused to divorce him, and i cant be caught in all that drama, and i dont see myself doing the stepmom thing because they have 2 kids. and lastly i have a serious single guy who is my total speck. so right now we’ve drifted apart because he has realize after asking for 3 years that I’d never marry him.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Now, most sidechics are not single. They are also not ashamed to speak about it. Take the banking sector and civil service for example. They bask in it. They’ll also tell you they are fortified so there’s nothing to fear. Some even actively go after the men. I know there are shameless men, God! These men can be so shameless. They chase after you recklessly with no regard to their family. There are women who chase after the men, they also go diabolical to catch his attention. They share their stories with glee
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Never thought I will be writing dis. Never dated a married man until now. Back then if I just hear am married, I don dust my slippers run. Hmmmm, see me now😃😃. It happened when I just got out from a really bad relationship was heartbroken and shattered, My Ex got another girl pregnant and I had to move on. So I met my now married boyfriend in a customer’s office, gave him my contact didn’t knew he was married. He tried reaching out to me for us to see but I didn’t even gave him any audience until my bday. He drove down to my office and that was the second time we were actually seeing.

During my bday I was sad, lonely and broken trying to get over my ex. So he drove down to my office and that was when he told me he was married, wow I was disappointed, he could even read it all over my countenance. But then he promised to host me and my friends on my bday, dat was a big mistake on my part cos I would have declined. But then I was lonely and sad so I just thought why not lemme just have fun it’s my bday and am not gonna spend my money to celebrate it. Immediately he transferred me huge sum to get outfit and make my hair. My bday was fun, he hosted i and my friends for dinner and later went clubbing that same night. He had to lodged us and we slept in same room. He was a gentleman and he didn’t bother me that night. And that was how it started, selfish me decided to just have fun with him and also get free money out of it cos meh have been loyal to single guys that don’t give me shishi and all I get are disappointment.

And dat was how it started and I will say he has been d best. We’ve been together for 9months now and those things I use to beg my ex’es to do like regular call and messages, man does it effortlessly. He checks up on me in d morning and make sure he talks to me b4 he sleeps. Gives me money when I don’t even request for thou it’s not even about the money anymore cos I work and I can take care of my basic needs. 9 months of peace and bliss. He does not wanna see me angry and sad always apologizes at every moment when he feels like he offends me, show me off to everybody thou I try to avoid it. These are the things dating single guys I could not get. I have to always tell myself and also him that the moment I get a boyfriend (single guy) we breaking up and he always gets angry when I say so. But see me so attach now that I don’t even know how to leave him when the time comes.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

What made me date him is cos my husband is toxic highly toxic at that both him and his family, I think him being the way he is made it easy to fall in love with the person I’m with. My husband will cheat with any lady even patronizes h*es on coded runs, he made me feel so inferior, for someone so self confident like me, he’ll discourage anything I decide to do that’ll make me progress. This person I’m with shows me a type of love I only see in movies
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

We were friends for 5years, and we were in love but he had an on/off relationship, he got married to her in 2021, we maintained our friendship. He’s practically the best human being in my life. But he’s leaving Nigeria on Tuesday with his wife. We only started dating in june 2023. He has helped me through many phases of life and supported me and all my decisions. I made 31 this year and he is 38 this year. I plan to face my Life now, it’s been an emotional week for us. We decided to remain friends and he hopes I find someone special that deserves me. I will always treasure our relationship.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

He was a colleague at work, he was friendly and everyones go to guy, when he was about to leave the company he let me know he was interesting in me. I’ve been single for 5 years prior to this. At first I stayed respectful and declined but he persisted and I decided to give it a try after he let me know he and his wife were separated.
At first I let it just be the occasional sex with no emotions but found myself getting attached a bit. We got into a huge fight cause I made a post of being single and not having a love life. He insisted that he loved me and I found myself falling in love with him as well.
It’s almost 11months now and we are still together. His wife left him and the kids years ago. And the thing is men need love too. He loves and cares for his kids soo much which draws me closer to him.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

MYbe they aren’t both happy in theory marriage because they chose to give the devil a chance. She married her husband for a reason and so did he. They’ve decided to focus on what they lost rather than what they have and build it. That’s why they think they aren’t happy in their marriage. Until they intentionally detach and focus on their spouses, that feeling would still be there. And funny thing is, they can bothe leave their spouses and get married tomorrow but the marriage would not last more than 2 years. This happened to my sister’s friend. They only stayed married for two years and divorced. He went back to his ex wife begging, she took him.back but her husband never took her back. She’s now with 2 kids, one from each marriage and the second guy isn’t even standing up to his duties cause he had 2 kids in.the first marriage, now 3, and has relocated with his wife. It’s not too late for these two to do right by their partners.

His wife gave him the condition of not having anything to do with the lady and the child except she releases the child to them. They got married again, and she included in their prenuptial agreement. In as much as I thought that was too far, I don’t blame her. My sister’s friend cause so much issues for her. She pleaded with my sisters friend to leave her husband cause he changed towards her and stopped being the caring guy she dated. She was shameless about it. Whatever she’s getting now, she deserves it. Funny thing now is, she’s wants to drag her ex husband (first husband) to increase child support cause she’s jobless and with two kids. She didn’t do court marriage with second husband, just traditional and church.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I met a Nigerian guy at his uncle’s company in the US. I’m not Nigerian. He was off from work one day and I had to call him for information regarding my job. He was at the hospital for the birth of his second child. After that contact he began to message me every day. After a few months he invited me out and then we planned to attend Caribana that year. He invited me to a family birthday and I met his brothers, his friends and cousins. We spend weekends out of town together. Was together for about 3 years. Recently blocked him on all social media. He was kind at times and we got along well. His wife found out and called my number several times and asked that I leave her husband alone and said her husband loved her. Well after she found out we still continued for another year until I blocked him. We haven’t communicated in months and miss him. Before the relationship ended I read the message between him and his wife on his phone. It was very toxic. I miss him as a friend
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Reading these stories with pain in my heart, because we’re all selfish as humans. A side chic/mistress cannot imagine the pain & emotional turmoil she’s putting a wife through. The straying husband is just considering his own feelings, and the seeming peace & happiness he’s getting from outside.
Everyone would tell the wife in this case that if cheating is a deal breaker for you, then leave, separate, divorce…easier said than done
I have been married for 12 years, my spouse & there has been 4 long term relationships, several random nacks..that I have found out with evidence, confronted, reported, threatened divorce…now I just gather evidence & keep..
Gone through bouts of depression, because the feeling is what I can’t explain, you start to second guess yourself, feel unpretty
Now, I should say I work in tech & I am very beautiful (if I do say so myself) after 5 kids, people think I have undergone BBL or a mummy makeover…but I haven’t.

Recently I reconnected with an ex, it started like innocent conversations, then it went to, I never got over you…please we haven’t had sex or do we plan to..
but it can qualify as emotional cheating.
I have found myself sort of, I am happier & more radiant.
I dream of a future where I would have a partner that will not cheat on me.
My husband is a kind man & an excellent father…takes care of 95% of the bills & doesn’t play about my family… these are the things I take solace in, cold comfort you may think. But the stress ain’t easy, loneliness is no joke & I am not getting younger. How many men would want to settle with a divorcée with 5 kids? So the options are limited. I don’t want to end up a mistress or side chic & cause another woman pain.
But I know I am hungry to get my pound of flesh back …somehow I will, but till then I remain a dedicated wife & mother & pour the love & pain in my heart with another
Everyday I plead for mercy, I didn’t choose this life.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Hmm. We met first day and we kissed . The attraction was too strong. We settled down and spoke we mentioned he is married . By this time I was willing to let things go . How did it turn out ? Plenty wahala ! But it’s 1year tomorrow (1st October ) I’ll end things eventually, I’m only just holding on until I find who want
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I was naive and young so I thought it was right, it was good while it lasted because married men know their onions around young girls, also impactful (in terms of helping me grow) but know this and know peace” No matter how you claim a married man Loves you, he will never leave his family for you” the ones that leave their family and come to you will never last or yield anything afterwards…..
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

He is a Muslim and said he wanted a second wife(don’t know whatever made me think I could do that) though I knew him before he got married.I was a Muslim too then though
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I was a fresh graduate looking for job, someone introduced him to me, he said it was love at first sight. He didn’t even interview me, he just employed me straight. 1 week after, he asked us to go out, he took me to an hotel and I declined I said never. He left me and work continued but I’m so smart and intelligent he appreciates my work as his secretary, we started going out weekends, wedding introducing me to his friends one thing led to another and we got sexual I was 24 and no serious relationship. He became like family but nobody knew we were dating just oga and employer relationship.

One day he told my elder sister he was going to marry me she got so mad and was like your wife nko, he said she’s not a problem. I almost ruined my relationship with my elder sis because of this but I didn’t back out 4 years after I got pregnant and be said I will need to travel out of the country. He did all and I went to Europe to have my baby, he promised never to leave me but along the line issue Happened and we broke it, he was shattered. He had so much trust and believe in me, it’s been 10 years and I still miss him but life goes on. Myself and daughter haven’t seen him for 8 years and that’s because my husband (I’m married now with 2 boys) won’t let us see him, he knows the type of relationship we share and doesn’t want us to speak on phone not to talk of seeing him. My daughter doesn’t know about him but one day she will know her real father.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I dated a married man because I heard they spend money on their girlfriends. Oh! How wrong I was. I will not deny the fact that he is wealthy but omo I saw shege. I was young and naive but that didn’t dispute the fact that I knew this man was a narcissists. His aim was to reduce me to nothing through emotional and verbal attacks. He would say deeming words to me and words like “I am young and I am stupid therefore I should obey and do anything he says”. I was being brought up by a single mother and she made sure my every needs and necessary wants were met. So to say, I am from a very comfortable home. So, it was greed that pushed me into dating a married man not because my needs weren’t being met by my mother. Suffice to say, the whole thing turned out to be a disaster. He flew me to Lagos and after a disgusting sexual encounter, I had to ask my myself, what am I even doing? I dreaded the sex, the money he was giving to me;my mum was giving me more, he is narcissist.

When I came back, I blocked him everywhere and cut it off.

I no longer date married men, na run Dey I run now when I hear I am married. I no do.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

My relationship then was stressing me out, the married man was my friend and would always cheer me up. Gave him a chance and it’s been one year of pure peace ngl. He is so kind, thoughtful and sweet. We have grown so fond of each other and even exchange I love yous☺️
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I knew he was married before we started dating, I met him during my National Service(Nigerians call it NYSC). I just wanted to explore but I got emotionally attached, he was also clingy and he even wanted to meet my family(not as a potential suitor, he just wanted to have me to himself) which he did but my parents had no idea he was married. We went on a lot of trips, he always wanted to make sure I was comfortable. We dated for 5 years though I didn’t know the end game, I enjoyed it while it lasted. I had 3 abortions for him which I regret till date. At a point, I didn’t know if I should move on or not but because I always dreamt of having a lovely family of my own so I had to end it.

The relationship ended before I got married November last year. I pray I’ll be able to have children for my husband because he’s everything I ever wanted and I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve him. We have decided to wait till I join him in Canada before we start trying for babies. PS. He’s not the only married man I dated he’s the only one I had a”stable/serious 😅” relationship with 🙈
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Money, slept with a couple of them but this man stood out… been on and off for a while .. it’s more a sugar daddy thing…. But I love him, supported me and gave me reasonable amount of money, our last meet up he promised to take care of me if I stick only him and all of a sudden he won’t even pick my calls and hardly replies me…. But he sees all my updates, this made me feel some type of way because the sex is good plus each came with a credit alert that I would never get at a go working all the menial jobs and I have really grown attached to him because of the things I get …. 20 years older than I’m but I really wished he’d be sugar daddy forever
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

He told me the marriage was over.
One month after our introduction and 6 months pregnant I found out he lied about everything.
I ended the relationship and I’m raising my daughter alone
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

It’s something I least expected to happen but we met on the road one day in 2020(I was going on a bike and he came after me in his car till I reached where I was going), we exchanged numbers. I didn’t think he was married or anything, I wasn’t even interested in him or anything.
I ignored his calls and texts till 8 months after when I picked by mistake. We started to text sometimes, getting to know each other and all till he told me he was married. I told him I wasn’t interested in being with a married man.

I thought that was it but once in a while he would still text me. February the next year I agreed to go grab a bite together and I guess that was it. 2 plus years down the line, we’re still together. So much has happened. I’ve met his friends, colleagues, some family. I’ve also learnt a lot, worked with him in his business and gotten a lot of career advice and mentoring(he’s a top career guy. I’ve definitely had so many good times but also I wouldn’t recommend it.

He really believes in me and pushes me to do things I might not ordinarily do
Although there are times when he’s understandably unavailable. He also supports me financially but it’s never really been about the money
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I dated one for about a year or more not so sure
When I met him I didn’t know he was married but I was pretty sure it can’t be serious with us cause of religious difference.Then about 4 months later I found out he was married ,he didn’t tell me just posted picture of his daughter doing birthday I asked and he said yes but he thought he told me.i gave him space for about a month but i came back later.
I liked him a lot cause he was so patient ,super intelligent always had sthg meaningful to say about every topic he was just dat guy u will like,mind u he is also a young guy (found out his wife was around my age ,she is just few months older)
Truth was we had no intention to date cause I spoke to the wife 1/2 times
I just felt so comfortable and vulnerable with him so it was just so easy to gravitate into s*x
We became so into ourselves that he completely lost himself into me and was not paying attention to his house until the wife caught him.

I left him afterwards but He still wants us back but I can’t anymore
I still feel guilty thinking about how things true we out cause I know the wife was really hurt and I feel 💯 guilty and still blame myself for loosing guard on a married man
I truly do like him as a person and I wish we can keep just friendship but I don’t trust he can so I am not trying anymore
He has settled with his wife and they are good
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Dating one right now. Got out of a serious relationship 5 years ago ( almost married) I moved to a new town to start all over again and a friend introduced me to a dating site. I met him there and his info didn’t say married, just a father of 2. When we started talking, he said he wasn’t with his wife no more. Then we started dating, he stays in Canada and only comes home once in a year for a month. After a year, he told me he got back to his wife and he was on the dating site cos their marriage was at d verge of divorce but they got back. I told him we can only be friends now that I know and we agreed. Lagos guys as showed me pepper o and somehow, we linked up again and it’s been 2 years. He has been so caring and right now I think I might consider marrying him. Reason being, I’m 39 and I’m tired of all these guys that wants nothing, he only comes ones in a year( I’m really cool with that). I’ve never been pregnant before in my life and he is willing to go through the IVF and Surrogacy with me.

Im really confused Mehn. I would surely wait if there was a single guy willing to do that but I haven’t been lucky with that.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I am currently dating a married man. He is 60 and I am 31. I have been married for 3 years now. The relationship started so friendly because he is my neighbor and I see him everyday before going to work ( he usually goes for his morning walk). This relationship has lasted for about 9 months. Though we haven’t had sex we’ve made out in the past though we have stopped. I enjoy his company and feel so guilty because I know my husband doesn’t deserve this but I feel like I can’t stop seeing him. Please help me. What do I do?
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Met him online and we started talking. He wasn’t married at the time we started dating, however he told me he had a girlfriend, but said he and his girlfriend were ending things ASAP because she was violent.
Travelled across the globe to go see him ( paid for the flight with my money , he paid for my visa with his money ) .
When we met the first time, he was with me for most of my stay and I asked him what the status was with his girlfriend, he said I shouldn’t bother that he got it handled.
Travelled constantly to go visit him , with my money oooo.
Then we planned that I relocated over to stay with him.
When we agreed on the relocation, I asked about the girlfriend and he said he handled it.

I relocated . 1 month down the line , I found out he was expecting a child with the girlfriend and she was already 3 months pregnant,
I confronted him , and he said it was all complicated.

I was too ashamed to travel back home , I had to stay here because I had no choice .
I was stuck.

This is 2 years later , their child will be 2 years old in December , he is has been living with the lady .
He now calls her his wife .

Praying to God everyday for the strength and finances to leave this sticky situation.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

Dated one some years back when i was done with school and he didn’t want it to end cos he felt since i was not getting married why should i end it. Well after that Nysc experience i realized that I’m investing my emotions in the wrong places cos i get attached easily so why getting attached to people who aren’t totally available. So im trying to consciously turn down advances from men once i know they are married. It’s not been easy cos they are all over. And most single guys around aren’t ready for commitment.
Sha that’s my little experience .
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I did when i was serving and needed extra money to meet bills. I felt heart broken when i found out i wasn’t the only one . Maybe i was greedy that i felt that way but i had to stop seeing him dunno y i felt hurt though but i just knew this wasn’t healthy for me.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

We both casually got into, he turned out to be a father figure and a mentor to me – I am forever grateful to God I met him, cause this man impacted my life in no little way.
He genuinely cared about me and wanted the best for me but it was too late and sex had gotten in the way.

It lasted for about 7yrs.

Broke up and blocked me for 1yr cause I “cheated” on him and lied about it till he got evidence and said he couldn’t trust me anymore.

Came back to me after 1 year and wanted to marry me, but I couldn’t get pass everything that had happened.

We fought again and made up after some months, and now we have our mentor-mentee relationship going well for us.
We live thousands of miles of apart, so this is working well for us.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

He was a co-worker, he was nice to everyone at work, respectful and intelligent. We were just friendly until after about a year he opened up he was separated from his wife and wanted to date me, turned it down at first but he was persistent and we gave it a try.
Ended the relationship after a few months because he never really gave me a reasonable response on why his marriage broke and his family did not support their separation.
Anyway, he’s divorced now but I just could not get over the fact that a REALLY GOOD MAN would abandon their marriage without reasonable cause. I am now more mature and thank God for the advice I received from some of my friends.
Anonymous
ReplyOctober 27, 2023

I’m about to date him. I’m 27 and He’s 62, highly intelligent, has an athletic body, a great voice, and I find him very attractive. I met him at work when my boss introduced him as a childhood friend and instructed me to be the sole person managing his business affairs. On the first day he came into the office, he seemed flustered, and I could tell he couldn’t stop staring at me while my boss was present. I would say it was mutual because I couldn’t help but imagine what he’d look like in his 30s. So, we’ve been exchanging emails, and out of the blue, he moved the conversation to WhatsApp 😂. Then, he saw my WhatsApp profile picture and initiated a conversation. We had our first date on Wednesday, and he’s been asking for more dates, but I’m still trying to figure out what to do 😂. I really like him, and this is my first attempt at dating a married person. I don’t know what’s different about him. I just feel good talking to him and visiting places with him.

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